How-to: Not be a Plant Murderer
A happy plant is a happy you.
Tips & tricks to showcase my writing while addressing a subject of immense importance.
Tips & tricks to showcase my writing while addressing a subject of immense importance.
Two words. Drainage. Holes. Drainage holes are life or death, and I’m not kidding. If you’re adding that cute, little, ceramic planter to your shopping cart and try to rationalize that your pile of well-meaning pebbles at the bottom of the soil are going to have the same drainage effect- think again. Just do yourself a favor and add that ceramic drill bit to your steadily growing cart and dedicate two additional minutes to a proactive solution for you and your plant. It’ll save you some tears of plant mom failure and a cute, little, ceramic pot full of mushy, dead leaves down the road. I promise.
Don’t water on anyone else’s schedule. Additionally, don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty and probe. You heard me right. Probe. If you don’t have a constant film of a little bit of dirt underneath your green thumb, then you probably don’t have a green thumb. Stick your fingers in that dirt and if you find too much moisture or mud like clumps sticking to your well meaning advances, snooze that task and reconvene in two days. This will ensure a happier plant on a healthier watering cycle personalized to itself, rather than to its genus. A happy plant is a happy you.
Prepare for the annual winter accidental extermination, or 'AWAE' for short, and get yourself a humidifier and plant light. These additions will be equally beneficial to you as well, because, if you’re like me, you’ll hang out in the plant hibernation room at leisure. Something that my plants and I have in common is that I also appreciate sitting next to a space heater and humidifier in a light saturated environment to remind me that it is still mid-day at 4 pm while a completely dark outside would suggest the contrary. All of this, because we’re all just basically overcomplicated plants anyways, and you’ll appreciate your plant hibernation room just as much.
Tips & tricks to showcase my writing while addressing a subject of immense importance.
Tips & tricks to showcase my writing while addressing a subject of immense importance.
Tips & tricks to showcase my writing while addressing a subject of immense importance.
Lastly, remember that plants like friends. So, get your plants other plants to hang out with so they’ll all thrive or die together. This isn’t exactly factual, but it helps rationalize buying more plants and convincing roommates, spouses, significant others, etc., that it is vital to the lives of all involved, including your own, to get as close to a greenhouse as you can. If that doesn’t work, hit em’ with science and assert your zinger of a statement that plants create oxygen. That sounds like an investment of health if you ask me, thus, reasoning enough for me to have forty-ish plants and a greenhouse under construction.
House on the Market
A written preview of the real thing. My detailed copy will all but sell a home.
Built at the top of an overlook, this custom home offers a beautiful, exposed stone exterior, giving the home a complete look of modern comfort. Upon entrance, one will find that this home offers an unbeatably open floor plan, ensuring zero wasted space in long hallways where every debated square foot is used to its fullest extent. An impressive view of a wrapped, exposed stairway draws the eye up to an intricate, grid molding ceiling. The main level family/great room opens to a spacious dining area and entertaining kitchen which features upgraded Kitchen Aid stainless-steel appliances, double ovens, a 58” commercial stovetop, and a massive 5’ x 9” center granite island. All of this is showcased with accent lighting and extensive cabinetry wrapping around the entirety of the kitchen. This floor plan offers a versatility unique to itself with the addition of 2 master suits, located on both the main level and upper level. Upper level master extends 14’ x 20’ with sitting area to capture the room encompassing sunsets and sunrises. Upper master bathroom contains a walk in shower with double sink and jacuzzi bathtub adjacent to a fully shelved walk-in closet. Main level master reveals a classic marble rain shower with equally comfortable bathroom space and a large walk-in closet or storage area. All 5 bedrooms enjoy walk in closet spaces with private entrances to all 4 full baths with an additional half bath on the main floor. Private guest suites can be found on all 3 levels. The walk-out basement boasts of a second full kitchen, family room, game/theater area, guest suite, storage room, and daylight windows that create a main level feel. Spacious and storage friendly laundry room located on upper floor, but not forgetting the additional laundry hook up capabilities on both main level and basement. Additional practical upgrades include 2 furnaces with 2 A/C units that ensure increased efficiency that promises lower and upper levels stay the same temperatures as the main level. Furthermore, continuous hot water, cold storage room, and an impressive 1350 sq. ft. garage with its 3rd bay extending 44’ x 20’ wide that can harbor up to 5 vehicles or additional boat or trailers. Aesthetic upgrades include 10’ walls on main floor and 9’ on both upper and lower levels. A 20’ entrance and open stairway, gride and tray ceiling, crown molding and shadow box trim add to the grandeur of this home. Genuine hardwood floors, and granite counter tops can be found throughout. Secluded back yard with large, covered patio and fully fenced in yard to promote increased privacy. This custom location sits high on the East bench of Highland area, front and back views utilized due to lack of backyard or side yard neighbors. This fully finished 4,500 sq. ft. home is well equipped with an impressive view of the mountains behind and the city below and is ready for move-in.
Product Description
The ‘Rubber Hugger’ bed sheet holder
Packaging includes a simple and durable elastic band appropriate for the fit of a king-sized bed.
Primary purpose is to provide fitted sheet with horizontal tension to secure bedding in place throughout a night’s rest. This is an alternative option to frustrating clips and straps that hook directly on to bed sheets rather than fitting snugly atop mattress and fitted sheet.
Elastic band is easy to install with two people and manageable with one. Place your fitted sheet of choice on the mattress, tightly tucking around the corners in attempt to create a smooth surface over the entirety of the mattress. The tighter the fitted sheet is the tighter hold the elastic will have on resisting slips! Using the elastic, work from opposing corners of the bed and securely hug the outskirts of your mattress. Keep in mind it is most effective to secure the elastic band snuggly about two thirds of the way down from the top of your mattress. Make bed as usual.
The elastic band itself maintains thick durability while still providing stretch and tension. Fitted sheets will no longer come undone to reveal an itchy mattress below. Disgruntled fitted sheet entanglements in the middle of the night will no longer disrupt sleep.
Technically Written; Bread Recipe
Yield: 2 loaves | Approximation: 90 minutes
Kneading dough and needing a job are two very different things.
Kneading dough and needing a job are two very different things.
1. Heat milk to 110° F-115°F
2. Combine flour, yeast, sugar and warm milk in a bowl or stand mixer and beat for one minute, using dough hook attachment.
3. Add in salt, melted butter and optional seeds, grains or herbs.
4. If the dough is not sticking to the bowl add ¼ cup more of flour. If dough is still not sticking add 1-2 more tbsp of water.
5. Mix for 5 minutes on speed 2. If the dough is easily tearing mix for 2 more minutes.
6. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface for 4-5 turns or until you can form a smooth ball.
7. Coat a large mixing bowl with olive oil and place the dough ball top side down in bowl to coat in oil then flip over to thoroughly coat and cover with a cloth and place in a warm area for 25 minutes to rise, or until the dough doubles in size.
8. Preheat oven to 375° F and divide risen dough into 2 half loaves. Place in separate bread pans.
9. Let your loaves rest for five minutes and use a pastry brush to lightly coat top of loaves with egg wash to promote a golden-brown exterior.
10. Using a sharp knife make 3 slashes at 30° angels in the top of the loaves about a ¼ of an inch deep. These slashes help keep the crust from tearing apart as it bakes in the oven and adds an esthetic element.
11. Bake both loaves for about 25-30 minutes and until golden brown. Using a thermometer, check the center of loaves to ensure they are evenly baked through. The temperature must read between 190°-200° F.
12. Gently remove loaves from bread pans and let rest on cutting board until almost cool before enjoying.
Kneading dough and needing a job are two very different things.
Kneading dough and needing a job are two very different things.
Kneading dough and needing a job are two very different things.
INGREDIENTS
5 ½ cups of bread flour or all purpose (aerated and leveled)
3 tsp of instant yeast
4 tbsp of sugar
2 cups of warm milk or water (110° F)
1 ½ tsp of salt
¼ cup of melted unsalted butter
Approximately 1 handful, or to liking, of seeds, grains or herbs (optional)
EGG WASH INSTRUCTIONS
Egg wash consists of 1 cracked egg whisked together with 1 tbsp of water. This is an optional addition, however, without it the loaves will be very pale. Milk can be substituted for egg in wash.